#She is if eldest daughter syndrome was a person

[mirensiart]

I never talk about my personal life online cause like, I like keeping both things separated and cause I don't want to bore my followers with my life but I feel like I need to talk about this but only because I want to thank everyone here

So, deep from the bottom of my heart: thank you all so much

This year has been awful to my family, we lost our aunt in May and in September we lost my grandma

Not only that, but my mom has gone through 2 knee surgeries since August and she's still healing but can't do anything on her own, she's 100% dependent on a caretaker

And that caretaker is me lmao it's why my job let me do home office, so I could stay with her. I'm the oldest of 3 and like eldest daughter syndrome has been kicking my ass cause my mom requested I help her personally

Anyway, my social life has been basically nonexistent since August since my mom does not want to be alone and needs assistance all the time

Which is why I've been drawing so much, like non stop as a way to cope, and it does help a lot!

So when I started drawing for the linked universe au and seeing such a warm and nice reception from everyone, it was so healing to me! Like it's been helping me go through everything so much, seeing everyone engaging with my stuff and replying and asking me questions

It's just so so so great, it makes all these awful months feel so far away

So again thank you all, from the bottom of my heart! Like you guys are seriously the best 🥹❤️ you don't know how much I appreciate you all

[thedynamicworm]

In honor of Mha’s conclusion, I’m finally posting the sketches I did of Fuyumi if she was the one who became a villain instead of Touya.

This version of her is inspired by the art @nev4chii did of her with Dabi’s scars and hair dye and partially inspired by the Dabi!Fuyumi au by @cyber-phobia

[itneedmoreshit]

being an eldest daughter means sobbing every time you have to leave your parents even though your therapist is literally BEGGING you to get out of your hometown

[daisywords]

thinking about her again <3 (secret oc that you guys don't know)

[charliethemanticore]

Hi btw being trans does not automatically grant you supernatural understanding of all esoteric trans knowledge. You actually need to put effort into learning or put effort into keeping quiet about things that don't pertain to your specific experience

[bethhiraeth]

who needs therapy when you have *insert a fictional character who you project far too much on to in order to feel accepted and work through your own trauma who also definitely needs therapy*

[spider-man-2o99]

everything that miguel knows about the present day comes wholly secondhand from xina because they spent twenty years of friendship taking turns infodumping at each other over old star trek reruns. miguel doesn’t know who ben hurr is, but he heard the name from xina at some point so for the sake of the “her? / no, ben hurr!” gag, he’ll go ahead and make the reference anyways. he is not as worldly as he talks himself up to be he’s just pretentious (affectionate)

[rotisseries]

‘he is haunted by the specter of the women who came before him’ rin girl trauma is genuinely so good do you want to explain your thoughts

YESSSS!! this got long lmao

ok so some obvious things straight up. he's azula, he's lady macbeth, (which. very interesting because these women could easily be considered masculine figures in their stories but tbh villainy in media always includes some level of the character acting in ways incongruent with expectations of their gender.) he's reaching for a goal that is unachievable and he's losing everything in pursuit of it and when he realizes he's done it all for nothing he loses his mind entirely. out damned spot out

he's not a physically strong or imposing character, he's sly and cunning, traits often given to female villains, also his weapon choice, I said this to hella in an ask gathering cobwebs rn but he uses poison!! poison is his weapon and poison is a woman's weapon, all the way back to like, medea. I actually found this really interesting thing real quick just by taking a quick google search for poison as a woman's weapon:

it's a weapon of intelligence and elegance, it doesn't leave a mess, it's for a death that's clean and pretty (also so often the reality of death by poison is a brutal and choking one, which. ughhh you get me) however women also die more by poison, which is interesting but idrk where to go with that. also in general it's a weapon of betrayal and intimacy of COURSE it would be rin's weapon.

anyway girl trauma time. ok so admittedly some of it is just vibes like I was just sitting around like "hmm the specific way rin is impacted by kiva and lugalia and how he handles it FEELS very Girl Trauma™️" which is obviously not a very academic way of discussing that. and like obviously trauma and trauma responses are not exclusively linked to your gender but he doesn’t feel like a man with mommy issues he feels like a woman with mommy issues you know? he's full of grief, not hatred. also this is coming from me who does not have eldest daughter syndrome and does not know a man with visible mommy issues so. take it with a grain of salt.

anyway he's a middle son who acts like an eldest daughter and I don't just throw that around because I kinda don't love when people say "this man has eldest daughter syndrome" when they just mean parentified like you can just say parentified it isn't always eldest daughter syndrome but rin HAS eldest daughter syndrome and I actually feel like that's a bigger deal here because he's NOT really being parentified like kiva actually does very well with parenting drako so rin doesn't need to step in or anything. no, rin is an eldest daughter because he has to be uniquely aware of kiva's mental state in a way drako just. isn't. drako knows lugalia was awful obviously and that kiva hates her for good reason but drako doesn't really seem aware that it's made kiva. not the perfect mom. rin is bearing the brunt of it all, he doesn't know about lilla obviously but he has to sit with the knowledge that something is holding kiva back from him, he can tell. he's also being permanently held to this standard he'll never meet.

a firstborn in general but especially a firstborn daughter is supposed to be your perfect example, the child always going above and beyond meeting your every expectation which lugalia does to him in the most obvious sense but kiva is also holding him to a standard he can't meet. she's holding him up next to lilla. obviously she's not hoping to replace lilla with him in fact it's the exact opposite but the fact he ISN'T truly her firstborn he CAN'T truly be lilla is something that keeps kiva from loving him properly. he isn't lilla he can't bring back lilla he will never be lilla he will never be kiva's firstborn daughter and the impossibility of this standard is HAUNTING THEM BOTH. very interesting that being the middle child gave him eldest daughter syndrome btw lmao. (also I saw this tiktok (<- bad start) that I sent a screenshot of to hella in ANOTHER ask that's gathering cobwebs but supposedly older children coming out of their mothers leave dna behind in the womb that becomes a part of the next kid can we TALK about the rin+lilla and drako+rin implications of that???)

and then the way he HANDLES his issues. he doesn’t really blame kiva OR lugalia he doesn't even seem fully acknowledging that they've done him wrong he just keeps reaching for these standards he'll never be able to meet. if he can just be the perfect heir he will no longer feel the ghost of lugalia digging her fingers into his shoulder if he can just be the perfect son kiva will love him wholly but this isn't true and it's not his fault but he won't see that because if something isn't wrong with him then it means something was wrong with the women who raised him and if something is wrong with them he's spent his life reaching for something he can't have and if he's spent his life reaching for something he can't have then where does he even go from there? how do you move on? it's all been futile? unacceptable.

so he tries to meet the standards he's being held to. and he's haunted by the women before him. he's haunted by lilla, occupying a space in his mother's heart that he can never have. he's haunted by kiva, her gentleness standing in contrast to his learned pragmatism, her feeling like she's looking into a portait of her mother, horrified at his every action, when he does it all for her anyway. he's haunted by lugalia, crafting him in her image, the perfect heir, hiding everything under a calm and icy exterior. he's haunted by hammari, reaching higher and higher for an impossible goal, wanting, needing, to be good, to be loved, committing greater and greater sins in pursuit of it, until it's gone out of control, and it's too late to quit, because if you quit, what was it all for? you lost everything, and for nothing. and at the end of it all, with a knife in his hand and hair scattered around him, he's once again haunted by lilla, who was the perfect daughter he could never be, without even trying.

he is forever living in the shadows of the women from before him he is constantly shaping and reshaping himself to try and fit to their place in the puzzle he was sculpted in their image and now he continues to sculpt himself and he will NEVER BE FREE of his sister and his mother and her mother and her mother and yeah I just think that's very girl trauma of him

[mind-your-step]

Breaking news: jealousy over the amount of attention my dad gets from my mum has resurfaced. Not in a feud way. In an eldest daughter, with a man child father way. I need to be held, and allowed to actually feel like one of the two children in this family.

[235uranium]

the relationship between sae and akechi is actually so amusing to me. if you asked either of them they'd deny being anything more than coworkers who begrudgingly put up with each other. meanwhile they eat dinner with each other fairly regularly. makoto genuinely believes that sae likes akechi more than her. sae (and by extention makoto) are perfectly aware that akechi is incredibly mean. sae was probably who akechi played pool with before meeting joker. she must be the coworker who gave him the aquarium tickets. they're friends but they fucking hate it

[ghostbite0]

Ok so what can you tell us about those obamitsu fankids if they aren't just random cool designs

omg.... uhhh lets see... i dont have any names for them so I'll just label them with their birth order!

obamitsu family...... feel free to make up headcanons abt them too idm!!!! free real estate

eldest daughter / first child

she's close with her father and regularly aids him due to his blindness

her mom, aunts, and uncles tell her all about how she has her dad's eyes, so it became a feature she takes great pride in

she's close with her aunt Shinobu, who sorta takes her under her wing. she is also close with her uncle Kyojuro and likes hearing stories about her parents

she and her younger sister (second eldest) are close

second eldest daughter

she has her mom's appetite and love for sakura mochi, thus the pink & green hair

sensitive like her dad and a bit defensive with everything

Uncle Nemi is her favorite. he would babysit all the time when she was little

she doesn't get along with the middle child. they have a obanai & giyuu dynamic-- second eldest thinks her younger sister is entitled and isn't grateful for anything their family does for them

third eldest daughter / middle child

she looks a lot like her grandpa (Mitsuri's dad) / mostly inherited genes from mitsuri's side of the family

she comes across as bratty , but in actuality, she's got awful middle child syndrome

close with her Uncle Gyomei... Gyomei gifted her the beloved cat plushie when she was a newborn

she's closer to her aunts and uncles than she is with her siblings-- middle child moment

fourth daughter / second to youngest

quiet like her dad, but friendly like her mom

she would play with Kaburamaru ever since she was a tiny baby. the two are very close

she's timid and not talkative whatsoever, so she tends to keep to herself or clings to one of her parents (usually Obanai)

when she does come out of her shell, she will play with her Uncle Muichiro or Uncle Senjuro-- on rare occasions, her Uncle Tengen and her aunties... she likes playing dress up with them, though she usually needs to be encouraged to do so!

she loves her baby brother!!!

youngest child / only son

the baby ... he is a mama's boy and he loves his big sisters to death

got most of Obanai's looks, though he did inherit his Mom's moles and personality

curious and sweet little guy

his favorite babysitter is his Uncle Muichiro

his least favorite babysitter is his Uncle Rengoku, purely because of how loud and eccentric he is most of the time

he learned from his Mama to kiss his Dad's scars. whenever Obanai holds him, the baby gives him a little kiss on both eyes, then both cheeks, mimicking his mother. Obanai tears up every single time

im so fond of them. obamitsu u will forever be famous. and ur children are real. idc what canon says. family

[illubean]

HIHIHI!!! I've been following you for a while and i recently saw your toph! reader HC and I've been wondering if I could request for a katara! reader who's really good at waterbending and specialises on healing and blood bending? Could the characters be Gon, Killua, Illumi and the phantom troupe? Hope you eat well and stay healthy!!!

HXH W/ a Katara!Reader

Characters: Gon Freecs, Killua Zoldyck, Illumi Zoldyck, The Phantom Troupe Type: Headcanons, Fem!reader, Platonic

tried making this gn but then I ended up using fem labels a lot >.< also when I see "the phantom troupe" in headcannon requests im just going to write them collectively unless otherwise specified

Warnings: None

Gon Freecs

your older sister/eldest daughter syndrome is very evident around him

he probably doesn't pick up on it but everyone else sees how fiercely protective you are over him

you have a soft spot for children and Gon is literally the sweetest ever so you can't help but want to keep him safe

before the hunter exams, the only role models Gon has ever had in his live have been maternal figures (Mito and his grandma)

you end up becoming another one

which may also be part of the reason he is so respectful and kind

he's ok with your motherly nature mainly because he's very used to it and he can understand where you're coming from

he cares for you as if you guys were blood related

when he went cray in chimera ant arc you were the first person Killua and Leorio thought to call

yk because of your healing ability

you healed him the best you could before Alluka showed up

and scolded him immediately after he recovered

Killua Zoldyck

he likes someone with Toph's rebellious personality but you?

you're a total wet blanket...

your such a stickler, always trying to stop him when he's feeling mischievous

you remind him of how things were back at his estate...

you are not his mother stop acting like it

but whenever you protect him from getting seriously hurt or heal him he's reminded you have good intentions

he knows you're not trying to be manipulative and controlling but god pls loosen up

despite how distant he might present himself he can't help but grow a little emotionally attached to you

he's never had a healthy relationship with his mom...

you are the only normal motherly figure in his life

he acts like he can't stand how you fuss over him but in reality he cares for you deeply and kind of likes that you feel the need to be protective over him

Illumi Zoldyck

unlike his brother, he likes you a lot more than if you were to have Toph's personality

because you remind him of his mother

he doesn't mind your protective nature as long as you don't get in the way

your 'blood bending' technique is of great interest to him..

you are able to use it on normal days and don't have to wait for a full moon because this is my fanfic and I said so

it just happens to be at it's strongest on full moons

he probs starts keeping track of the moon cycles just to take you on missions and see you in action

with the blood bending technique you could literally stop any enemy

a very OP ability indeed....

which is why he keeps you around

you're strong and have a pretty normal personality so there's really no reason for him to dislike you

The Phantom Troupe

it's pretty 50/50 with them

and by that I mean some of them don't mind your motherly personality while others think it's annoying...

mainly Phinks and Feitan; they feel you're too bossy

but the entire troupe can agree that your nen is impressive

1) they have a healer now and 2) your blood-bending is some sort of secret weapon

you get along well with Nobunaga, bonding over your shared soft spot for children

Chrollo probs personally recruited you for your abilities seeing as he couldn't really steal them..

Machi likes having you around because now she has to stitch people up less often

when Kalluto joins, he becomes the one you're most protective over

the younger members see you as an older sibling figure

aka Shizuku(18) Kalluto(12) and Kortopi(he has no canon age as far as I know but I like to imagine he is a child rather than a small adult...)

[angelsaxis]

I saw this totally out of touch post once that was like "surely you're all just lying and joking about Eldest Daughter Syndrome that actually sounds fun i think you're making it up" like Eldest Daughter Syndrome isn't literally a form of misogyny. Like. "The oldest girl loses a portion of her childhood to tend to the men and children and sometimes even other women around her; she is expected to carry a certain amount of maturity and personal responsibility that the male children are not" is TEXTBOOK misogyny ����

[kamaluhkhan]

all the love we had and lost

pairing: conrad fisher x fem!reader

summary: you come back to cousins beach after a few years away. conrad is not particularly happy that you're back - and you aren't particularly thrilled, either. too bad there's a history (chemistry?) neither of you can deny.

warnings: lots of plot + flashbacks. angst with fluff in betweem. slightly suggestive dialogue/situations but nothing more than the actual show, a guy being pushy about hooking up with reader but nothing happens, mention of injuries and blood throughout, hints of alcoholism, brief mention of dieting (reader is competitive swimmer and deals with certain pressures from that), reader gets her period, takes on too much responsibility and argues with her mother (aka eldest daughter syndrome)

tags: @stargirlsirius-recs, @ifilwtmfc, @qwertyb2577, @allnrsnz, @baconeggndcheez, @peanutbelley, @imogen-skye, @geekinthefuschiahair, @tvije,

a/n: thank you thank you thank you for so much love on my first conrad fic!! i'm so excited to share the rest of the series, so stay tuned :))

read part one here

the best friends of our childhoods are the loves of our lives, and they break our hearts in the worse ways. (fredrik backman)

now — summer, age 18

you throw in some extra sprinkles, along with a few more tablespoons of sugar. belly has a huge sweet tooth. it's the night before her birthday, and you're in the kitchen at the fisher's house baking her coconut confetti cupcakes. 

born on june 21st — the summer solstice — belly conklin is the definition of a summer child. she's summer, personified: sunshine, sweet tea, sand, and smiles. having missed so many birthday celebrations, you’re determined to make this year special.

you go to the fridge to grab some eggs, and when you close the door, you're startled by the person standing behind it.

"what are you doing here?" you ask, holding a hand to your chest and setting the carton of eggs on the counter. the joy you felt making birthday cupcakes for belly fades away, replaced with a tingling in your chest. you and conrad hadn’t spoken more than three sentences to each other, or even been in the same room alone, since that morning on the beach. as the distance between the two of you grew, so did your frustration at him. 

conrad raises his eyebrow at you. he reaches around you into the fridge and pulls out a beer. 

"i should be asking you that." 

"the oven at my house is broken and your mom said i could come over."

“i’ve heard that one before,” he mumbles as he leaves the kitchen. you almost can’t believe he brought it up, even if just in a passing, somewhat snarky remark. conrad probably thought you didn’t hear.

these past few weeks, conrad hasn't just been cold towards you — which was a relief as much as it was heart wrenching. he seems more closed off in general, more inclined to spend time with others who hadn't seen him grow up. in fact, you imagine he’s on his way to see nicole now. maybe with her, he can pretend everything is fine. but not with the people in this house, who knew him inside and out.

you would never admit it — if conrad wants to ignore you, you could ignore him just fine — but it was eating you up inside, and it took everything in you not to confront him, to comfort him about whatever he was going through. you’d have arguments when you were kids, but it was nothing a ring pop or tub of cherry jello couldn’t solve. this time is different; the wound is deeper, harder to heal.

you wanted the old conrad back: the sweet boy who cared for you and let you care for him in return. 

then — summer, age 14

belly was turning 12, and you wanted to surprise her with homemade cupcakes for breakfast. only, the oven at your house was broken, which meant your intention of baking her birthday treats would have fallen through, if not for susannah’s ever-present generosity. 

everyone else was out of the house — you even asked laurel and susannah to take belly shopping to not ruin the surprise. you were decorating the cupcakes when conrad walked in from the deck. his wet hair stuck to his forehead and he was wearing a rash guard, so he probably got back from surfing. he looked paler than usual, even after being in the sun for hours, but you didn’t think much of it at first.

“hey,” he greeted, sounding slightly out of breath. “what are you doing here?” 

“the oven at my house is broken, so your mom said i can come over to bake these for belly’s birthday tomorrow.” you gestured at the clumsily decorated treats. the cupcakes had bright pink frosting and rainbow sprinkles. you weren’t a professional by any means, but knew that belly would love them.

“but i’m sure she wouldn’t miss one or two, if you wanna try one,” you offered, smiling at conrad.

he smiled back, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “yeah. yeah, let’s do that. i’m just gonna get changed first.”

conrad walked past you, and that’s when you noticed him limping — along with a bloody gash just below his left knee.

you instantly dropped the spatula back into the half-empty frosting bowl.

“connie, what the hell happened?”

“i’m fine,” he answered. “i wiped out, got cut by the fin of my board.” conrad must have noticed your eyes widened with worry because he grabbed your wrist gently, thumb rubbing soothingly on your pulse point. he was bleeding out on the kitchen floor, and there he was, trying to make sure you were okay. 

“i’m fine,” he reassured. 

the blood dripping down his leg suggested otherwise. years ago conrad would faint at the sight of blood, and though he’d mostly outgrown that, you knew it still made him queasy. you imagined the pain definitely wasn’t making it easier. without another word, you pulled him into the bathroom and made him sit on the edge of the bathtub. you washed your hands then sat cross-legged in front of him.

“you here to fix me up, sweetheart?” he smirked as he watched you gather supplies from the cabinet underneath the sink, your brows furrowed in concentration.

“what?” you paused, almost laughing. until you saw his wound again, and you got back to work.

“it’s from the hunger games,” he explained. “when katniss finds peeta in the arena? and he’s all, like, injured.”

“well, he was definitely in worse shape than you,” you assured. “your cut’s not that deep, it just looks bad.”

“it doesn’t feel great, either.”

conrad exhaled sharply when you started applying pressure to his leg with a damp washcloth. you placed your other hand on his right knee.

“it’ll be fine, connie. i’ve got you. keep your eyes on me, okay?”

he looked down at you, wet hair framing his face as he offered a short nod. 

you gestured at him to take over, and your fingers brushed together when he grabbed the washcloth, but he never looked down. his eyes still followed you as you searched the bathroom for something to cover his wound.

a comfortable silence followed. the two of you used to spend hours talking, sure, but what you loved about spending time with conrad is that silence didn't bother him. you could each be in your own worlds while in the comfort of each other's company, and that was enough.

once the wound was cleaned and the bleeding slowed down, you placed a gauze pad over his cut before wrapping a cloth bandage around it.

“i’m pretty sure it’s ‘you here to finish me off, sweetheart?’,” you remembered.

conrad shook his head. “i’m pretty sure it’s not. i’ve read the book like, three times.”

you move to sit next to him on the edge of the tub.

“how sure are you, connie? because i’m pretty damn sure.”

conrad shrugged. “i’m pretty damn sure, too.” 

you rolled your eyes, but with a smile. “okay, fine. we’ll check. but, when you see how wrong you are, you have to come with me to see jaws 2.” it was playing at the local movie theatre during their weekly throwback thursday — you and belly had seen it advertised on your way home from getting ice cream. you had wanted to ask conrad, but couldn’t find the right time.

because you hadn’t meant it to be a date, but you also hadn’t not meant it to be. something changed about how you felt towards conrad that summer; or, maybe, you just figured out what was different about the love you felt towards him compared to everyone else. 

(yes, love. again, something you would never admit.)

you thought maybe — maybe he felt it too. there was something different in the way he teased you, laughed with you, looked at you when he thought you couldn’t notice.

you did notice. it happened so much that eventually you decided that either it was all in your head and he didn’t love you that way, or he was also scared of what would happen if he did. which, to be fair, was the position you were in. you were very scared of what would happen if you crossed that line.

“i’ll agree to that,” conrad said. “if you agree to having a picnic with me on the beach. if i have to face my fear of sharks, then you have to face your fear of angry seagulls stealing your food.”

a picnic on the beach. you wondered if this was conrad’s way of subtly asking you on a date. did he also want to cross that line, become something other than friends? he looked at you so eagerly, you hoped he did.

“fine.” you held out your hand. “but you have to protect me from angry seagulls.”

conrad smiled at you brightly as he grasped your hand. 

“always.” 

in the end, conrad lost the bet. the screening of jaws 2 was cancelled, so you rented it from the video store instead. you got his favourite movie snacks, and some of yours as well, and made sure the couch had the comfiest pillows and the warmest blanket. you felt butterflies just thinking about the two of you watching together, cuddling on the couch. 

when the time came though, your plans fell through. the playdates your siblings had lined up both cancelled. your mother had plans to meet a friend at the bar, and claimed she couldn't reschedule. by then your parents were divorced and your father was elsewhere with his new girlfriend, so it fell to you to babysit your siblings.

conrad came over anyway: he helped you make rice and lentils for dinner, convinced your brother to eat his vegetables, and let your sister paint his nails. the four of you watched night at the museum and ate all the junk food you had gotten, with you and conrad sitting on opposite ends of the couch, but stealing glances and shy smiles at each other. when your mother came home, a bit after midnight and a little tipsy, she got angry that you’d kept the twins up so late and cheated on the diet she had so carefully planned for you — to keep you in shape for swimming, she claimed. you rolled your eyes, and that made her angrier. without you saying anything, conrad took the twins upstairs to get ready for bed as you and your mother argued. by the time conrad walked back downstairs, your mother had gone into the living room for another drink and you were in tears. he asked if you were okay, and you told him to go home.

you never talked about that night again, and everything went back to the way it was: with neither of you crossing that line.

now

the only reason you let belly drag you to nicole’s party is because it’s her birthday. 

as soon as you enter the house, nicole and the other debutantes whisk belly away to a table filled with elaborate cakes. you can’t help but feel slightly embarrassed by how elegant they look in comparison to the cupcakes you made her. 

"come on," taylor groans. "let's get a drink."

taylor grabs two beers and hands one to you. you gratefully accept. the two of you catch up for a bit, when suddenly jeremiah starts serenading belly in an outrageously funny musical number. you laugh along with them, until you catch a glimpse of conrad with nicole on the couch at the other end of the room. nicole is sitting in conrad's lap, and she leans over to whisper something in his ear before kissing his cheek. your entire body heats up.

conrad was right before: you were jealous. as frustrated as you were with him, you were even angrier at yourself for feeling that way. 

"i’m gonna go find the bathroom!” taylor says, practically shouting over the music. 

"okay!” you yell back. “i’m gonna go get another drink." 

you know all too well that it isn’t a good habit to get into, but you need something stronger if you’re going to survive this party. you examine the drink table, finally picking out some mediocre tequila. you take a shot, then another.

“tequila. my kind of girl.” someone declares, creeping up behind you. 

it’s a terrible pick up line, and you already have a feeling that the guy trying to flirt with you is some rich entitled asshole. 

but, the guy — liam — can hold a decent conversation, and he’s cute enough.

he’s no conrad, though. you take another shot when that thought crosses your mind, and force yourself to flirt with leo. liam. right, liam.

liam leans in close, pretends to listen to you, lets his gaze linger on the deep v-neck of your shirt. you’re so close, you can smell the alcohol on his breath. 

“five minutes,” you boast after he asks how long you can hold your breath underwater. somehow, the conversation veered towards your time as a competitive swimmer. you’re just the right amount of tipsy that your inhibitions start fading away.

“wow,” liam says. “i have to say, i’m glad you didn’t have that training camp this summer.”

you bat your eyelashes at him. “oh? why is that?” you lean closer, trailing a finger down his chest.

“because then i wouldn’t be able to do this.” 

liam kisses you then, and you kiss back. he slides his tongue in your mouth, runs his hands over your body. you feel nothing. it’s fine.

“let's go upstairs.”

liam’s grabbing your wrist before you have a chance to answer. as he tries to tug you up the stairs, your eyes meet conrad’s from across the room.

suddenly, you feel nauseous. you rip away from liam’s grip and place a hand on the wall next to you to steady yourself.

liam turns around sharply. “what is it?”

“i changed my mind, actually. let’s just hang out downstairs.”

liam grabs your wrist again, his grip tighter than before. “don’t be a tease.” 

this time, your voice comes out louder. “i just changed my mind. that doesn’t make me a tease.”

“don’t be a bitch, then,” he scoffs, and you’re this close to breaking this guy’s nose. “do you wanna fuck, or not?”

“i don’t,” you answer instantly, struggling to break free from his grip. 

“okay, whatever. we don’t have to go all the way, but we can still go upstairs, and have a good time.”

he manages to drag you up two steps as you strain against his iron grip, now almost cutting off your circulation. your heartbeat quickens and you feel dizzy. finally, you grab onto the railing for leverage, forcing liam to stop in his tracks.

“what is it now?” he groans.

“just stop, liam.”

“listen,” he starts, speaking to you almost mockingly, like you’re a naive little girl. “i know what girls want, so you don’t have to be shy. we’re going upstairs right now and —”

“liam, is it?” the rest of the party is in full motion, but here’s belly, giving liam one of the most intense death stares you’ve ever seen. belly, who if you cut open, would bleed sugar. “i’m gonna have to ask you to let go of my friend.”

“whatever,” liam answers, rolling his eyes. “if you don’t mind, we’re kinda in the middle of something.” he tries to move you forward, but you stand your ground.

jeremiah is also glaring at liam from the bottom of the stairs, his golden retriever personality long gone. “back off, man,” he warns.

“just mind your own business,” liam snaps.

“they said leave her alone,” steven asserts, walking over once he sees what’s happening. “and you don’t wanna mess with us, trust me.” he clenches his hand into a fist as if proving a point.

in other situations, you and belly have definitely teased steven for his tendency to act all tough, but right now, you couldn’t be more grateful.

“who the fuck are you? her bodyguards?” 

“just let her go,” belly orders. 

“i think she can speak for herself. she wants this, but if you’re jealous, you can join, too.” 

your stomach churns. liam leans in close to whisper in your ear. “maybe we’ll see if those 5 minutes come in handy when you’re sucking my —”

as soon as liam lets go of your wrist, his hand trailing downward, you shove him away and punch him in the nose before he can finish his sentence. you deliver a final blow to liam’s ego as he’s doubled over:

“what i want is for you to leave us the fuck alone. there are other people in this house who i’d rather hook up with. people who aren’t complete assholes with fancy cars to compensate for their tiny dick.”

the flirtatious smile falls from liam’s face, replaced with the kind of anger only rich entitled assholes have when they don’t get what they want — figures that he only gets the hint when it literally hits him right in the nose. he’s angry enough to deliver a punch right back to your face. 

you hear a crack upon impact, and pain radiates from your nose. you fall down the stairs, but belly manages to catch you before you hit the ground. she holds you as jeremiah and steven step in front. you hear them shouting at liam over the music, but their exact words don’t register.

you lick your lips, tasting blood. your ears are ringing, and the room is suddenly all fuzzy.

“i’ve got her.” conrad’s calm and measured voice cuts through the chaos. you feel a strong, familiar arm wrap around your waist. “go find cam — the rest of us have been drinking, but he can drive her home.”

somehow, you find yourself in a bathroom, sitting on the counter as conrad stands between your legs. he carefully examines your injury, but you notice how he avoids making eye contact. 

you feel your head spinning all over again. maybe it’s the alcohol, or the adrenaline, or the fact that the two of you haven’t been this close in a while — probably a dangerous mix of all three. 

“you here to fix me up, sweetheart?” the question slips past your lips before you could stop it.

conrad looks slightly amused, and he finally meets your gaze. “that’s not the line,” he deadpans. you know (from trying not to but ultimately not being able to pull your attention away from him all night) that he’s had a few drinks as well; it seems like the two of you ignore each other best when you’re sober.

but, still, he remembers. his comment earlier and his smile right now is all the confirmation you need: somewhere in the back of his mind, he replays memories of you. no matter how cold he acts towards you, he still cares.

he continues wiping the blood off your face. “how’s your hand?” he asks.

you flex your fingers, inspect your hand. “it’s been better,” you answer, though your knuckles are slightly aching. “worth it.”

“i guess all those years away made you a badass.”

all those years away. the reminder feels like a stab to the heart, but you wouldn’t let it burst the comfortable bubble you and conrad had somehow stumbled into. 

instead, you offer him a lopsided smile.

“oh, connie,” the nickname rolling off your tongue with ease. “i was always a badass.”

“yeah, yeah. but it’s different now. you’re different.” he pauses. you’re worried he’s going to say something else. 

but he doesn’t. instead, he asks, jokingly: “did you join a fight club or something?” 

you take that as a good sign: like you, he’s trying to preserve the playfulness between you before everything else seeps in and ruins it, before you’re brought back to the present, where you’re both heartbroken and not talking to each other. 

“you know the first rule of fight club —”

“don’t talk about fight club,” you finish together. 

conrad laughs, even though it’s not that funny. you laugh, too. 

a silence falls over you, one that’s not unfamiliar, but not entirely comfortable either. conrad holds the cloth against your nose to make sure the bleeding stopped. 

it seemed to be a strange pattern between you two — being there for each other when you bleed.

then — summer, age 12

it was the end of july when you got your first period. 

you had made lunch for your siblings and walked them to their day camp, when you suddenly felt an ache in your abdomen. that ache turned into a sharp pain by the time you got home, and you ran to the bathroom to confirm what you’d suspected. 

that afternoon, mr. conklin was taking all the kids to mini golf, but you weren’t feeling up for it. you texted belly about what happened and spent the rest of the day curled up in bed.

you didn’t hear him knock over the sound of the movie you were watching, but suddenly you saw conrad standing by your door, holding a bag from the candy shop. 

“jesus, connie, you scared me!” you exclaimed, pausing the movie. 

he smiled sheepishly and flopped down on the bed next to you. “belly told me you weren’t feeling well. here.” he handed you the bag. 

you opened the bag, grateful that conrad picked out your favourite treats. you take one and bite into it. your stomach growled — you hadn’t eaten earlier because you felt nauseous, but now you could eat that entire bag in one go.

“how was mini golf?” you asked, popping another treat into your mouth.

“it was awesome! i finally managed to get past that giant hippo and get a hole-in-one. i got the highest score.”

you frown, wishing you had been there. if anything, to beat conrad’s score. 

“don’t worry, we’ll go back another time,” conrad added. “you can beat me then.” sometimes, you swore conrad could read your mind. he then asked if you were feeling better.

“no. i got my period,” you huffed. “it sucks.”

“oh.” conrad adjusted his glasses, a sign that he felt awkward. “i’ve heard about those. they sound pretty brutal.”

“health class?”

“no. my mom, actually.”

health class wasn’t much help for you either, and neither was your mother. you were lucky enough to have susannah and laurel, who had explained everything to you and belly. 

“anyway, what are you watching?”

“the hunger games,” you answer. “i just finished the book.”

“cool.” 

conrad didn’t move — he actually leaned back against the pillows even more — so you figured he wanted to stay. you moved the laptop so it sat between the two of you and started playing the movie again.

“you know, it doesn’t seem fair that you miss out on having fun just because of your period,” conrad said as katniss finds peeta injured in the arena.

you frown, about to point out that he has no idea how painful cramps can be.

he lifted his hand up to stop you. “not that i can judge what you’re going through. i’m just saying when it’s this bad, instead of being alone, just text me, and i’ll be there.”

when the time came, he watched movies with you in bed. he brought you junk food and pain killers. he even biked to the store when you’d run out of pads.

he was there for you, just like he promised.

now

those moments from past summers now feel warm and sickly sweet, like popsicles melting in the sun — then again, that might just be the remnants of tequila flowing through your veins. you think about what happened earlier, how belly, jeremiah, and steven stepped in to protect you. how conrad is here with you now, taking care of you so tenderly even after you’ve ignored each for so long. it’s like nothing changed. but once you leave this bathroom and the alcohol leaves your system, it wouldn’t be the same. you feared you'd never get that magic back, and that weighed on your chest so much, you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

“why’d you go for liam, anyway?” conrad asks, breaking you away from your thoughts. he removes the cloth from your nose so you can answer, and the bleeding seems to have finally stopped.

“you really wanna know?”

“yeah. liam’s an asshole. and you’re…” conrad places his hands on either side of your thighs, leaning close. “you.”

“i went for liam because….well, honestly, i didn’t care who it was, as long as they made me forget you,” you admit, because what did you have to lose. you probably have a broken nose, you definitely have blood on your shirt, and your time with conrad is running out. 

conrad’s eyes darken. his fingers start to play with the hem of your shorts. 

“did it work?” his voice is a whisper, but he’s so close that it’s crystal clear.

“no.”

it’s hard to determine who leans in first, but soon enough your lips are on conrad’s. it's not the most elegant kiss — it's messy, urgent, with your noses bumping together, and teeth clacking against each other. he cradles your face in his hands, and you wrap your legs around his waist to bring him closer. you taste beer on his tongue, and maybe a hint of lime, but it’s overwhelmed by the salty, metallic taste of blood stained on your lips. you tangle your hands into his hair, and you swallow his moan as you gently tug. it’s clearer now: you’re not dizzy from the alcohol or adrenaline, but dizzy from him.

when you run out of air, feeling like your lungs could burst, you pull away. conrad’s gaze is heavy on yours as he traces your top lip with his thumb.

“connie,” you whimper, itching to kiss him again. 

“you’re still bleeding.”

conrad wipes away your blood with the cuff of his flannel. before either of you can do or say anything more, there’s a knock on the door. jeremiah, letting you know that it’s time to go. 

and, just like that, the moment is gone. 

a few days later, belly invites you over for a girl’s night. you paint each other’s nails, eat sour candy, and watch rom coms, just like you used to. she updates you on debutante season, the argument she had with taylor, and her blossoming feelings for jeremiah. you let it slip that you and conrad kissed at nicole’s party, though you admit you aren’t sure what it means — as if you hadn’t spent hours and hours thinking about the kiss, about him. belly gives you a knowing smile, but you change the subject before she can comment any further.

you’re halfway through 10 things i hate about you when belly falls asleep. you grab your phone, deciding to finally reach out to conrad, when you get a text from him.

he’s already on the dock when you arrive, looking out onto the water. 

“hey,” you greet as you stand next to him. “i was actually about to text you —”

“did you tell belly that we kissed?” he interrupts. you can’t quite read his expression as he waits for you to answer.

“no, i didn’t,” you lie. “but…would it matter if i did?”

“well, i mean, belly’s close to nicole and i don’t want her finding out," conrad explains. his words are deliberate, and you suspect he'd spent some time perfecting what to say to you. so far, you didn't like where this was going. conrad delivers another blow:

"it’s not like it meant anything.”

you feel like you could shatter into a million pieces right then and there.

“it didn’t?” you hate how fragile your voice sounds, compared to conrad’s stoic demeanor.

conrad shrugs. “i mean, we were both drunk and the thing with liam happened, so we just got caught up in the heat of the moment.” 

“you’re saying there’s nothing between us, then? nothing other than friendship?”

he turned away before he answered. “no. nothing.”

“then what about last summer?” you demand. you force yourself to keep it together, your tone firmer than before. “i guess that didn’t mean anything, either.”

“y/n…” he pauses, and you know you caught him off guard. “i don’t know what you want me to say. we’re barely even friends anymore. you come back here, after all this time, after so much shit has happened, and expect us all to drop everything to fit you back into our lives. but, you don't. we moved on. i moved on, and i can’t deal with you —" 

“got it,” you snap, already turning to walk away. “loud and fucking clear, conrad.” 

it’s not like it meant anything. we’re barely even friends anymore.

you replay conrad’s words as you crawl into bed next to belly, holding back tears as to not disturb her sleep.

you decide then that you didn’t love conrad anymore. you couldn’t because it would eat you up inside. 

then again, it doesn't seem like hating him would be any easier.

[teaboot]

Batman? As in extended batman universe, specifically batman, or movies batman? I'm going to die from the hilarity of /accidentally/ following another batman fan. Generally it's on purpose lol

I was actually absorbed into the Fandom by osmosis before I even touched any of the Canon material

Even now I've only seen the Affleck movies and the Battinson one, plus a couple cartoons and like. Four comics out of order

With next to zero evidence tho I have decided that

Dick Grayson has Eldest Daughter syndrome that, speaking as an Eldest Daughter (tm) really should be addressed in the lore somewhere before he goes on a drunken bender, gets a tramp stamp, kills a man, and has a full-on mental breakdown when the Repression Dam breaks

Stephany Brown radiates "angry teen girl needs a hug" energy imo but I feel like she might break my arms? I don't know anything about her except her dad sucks but honestly same boat, would hang

Timothy Drake cannot be the helpless boohoo I see a lot of, but somehow the cool, collected, hypercompentant, übermensch-tweenybopper look is kinda sadder, like seeing a twelve year old buying groceries at the store by themselves. I want to send his ass to normal kid summer camp

I don't know pretty much anything about Duke Thomas except that he's a meta whose parents might be alive but crazy. I can only conclude that he suffers from Black Character White Fandom syndrome. I headcanon that he had an embarrassing weeb phase in middle school because he feels like the kind of kid Who'd have gone through a phase of saying "ohaio" with peace signs as a baby tween. I have no evidence to support this

Cassandra Cain might be my favourite. I think she deserves to go on an angry, irrational rampage or two, as a treat. Aggretsuko vibes that I cannot explain. I bet her favourite colour is purple

Jason Todd is my guilty comfort character and I refuse to believe he kicked the shit out of a fifteen year old while wearing a legless adult onesie. I refuse. Also yeah as a huge angry-kid-book-nerd there is no way that pride and prejudice was his number one fave, my money is on the Percy Jackson series but that could just be me projecting

Damian Wayne is Autistic, personal subscription. Because I am too and I said so. Reminds me of my baby brother, but crankier. Like a tiny old man who doesn't want to be at bingo with the other folks at the senior center.

I feel like Alfred should be allowed to be wrong about something sometimes but I still love him. Give that grandpa a gun

Bruce Wayne strikes me as a man who should have put a lot more thought and study and personal therapy consults into the idea of adopting multiple highly capable highly traumatized children he's never met before before but fuck pobody's nerfect am I right. Bisexual

[punkeropercyjackson]

Resources for non-malicious Batfanon blogs that're genuinely confused on what to watch/read/play

Bruce:The Batman 2022

Dick:Teen Titans 1966,New Teen Titans,The Titans and Outsiders 2003

Tim:Lonely Place of Dying,Robin 1993,Young Justice 1998 and Red Robin

Cass:No Man's Land,Batgirl 2000 and Shadow of The Batgirl

Damian:Son of Batman 2015,Streets of Gotham,Supersons,Gotham Academy(only gueststars but features his 1st civillian friend),Robin 2021 and Batman and Robin 2023

And i made my own complete manual for Jason which includes reading lists for Duke and Stephanie by other users

Here is pre-Morrison Talia,aka the only Talia as Morrison is a raging islamophobe

And Selina by @pyrocortex who's as dedicated to her as i am Jason(platonically that is)

When i say 'non-malicious',i mean Batfam fans who've been lied to about canon to rope them into perpetuating the mass and inherent bigotry in Batfanon and placated into fence sitters by old whites that don't understand Batman lore any better than your average fake geek guy.Bruce has 6 canon kids and isn't a serial adopter but an adopter of abused or orphaned kids only,Dick has Eldest Daughter Syndrome but actually(as stated by me and a friend)and includes tgirl swag,Tim isn't a white male power fantasy and that includes not one for white racist gays either,Cass was invented specifically to DEFY easian woman stereotypes,Damian is only a monster if you hate brown people,Jason is quite literally the other way around of everything Batfanon says of him,Stephanie is audhd bpd-coded and should be black based on personality alone,Duke is a 2000s cartoon protagonist that only gets ignored because he's black and Talia and Selina are way more than your 'haha Bruce is gay' joke,trust

Oh also,'Batman and Robin are slang for gay' isn't a thing actual comics writers did.It was purely spectulation specifically on ADULT Batman fans' part and Devin Grayson who is frequently cited on why Batcest is canon and therefore good has apologized for her Nightwing runs and said it was a bad coping mechanism on her part.Worth noting the Batrobin rumors were created at a time when they had to take out Batcat from the Adam West Batman show due to recasting Selina as Eartha Kitt and the segregation laws that were a thing back then.So take that as you will in how it reflects the mentality at the time,including regarding children's rights as child abuse was even more extreme due to it being 'normal' and 'justifiable' due to 'history'.Holy decontextualization,Batfans!!!